There are many things I could tell you about England. Firstly it is insanely hot here. And they have a lot of fried chicken. But England is summed up by one thing. Rikki Clarkes back lift. I dont believe anyone could have a backlift like it and not be English. It looks like a gay actors interpretation of Graham Goochs back lift. Stiff, proper and camp. Like a cup of tea, or Prince Charles. Or Prince Charles drinking a cup of tea, but thinking of a pint of beer. Clarke seems to make some runs in spite of his backlift handicap, although, he does seem to be late on every attacking shot he plays. Apparently Clarke played test cricket once, I think it is good he doesnt play anymore, as children imitate test cricketers, and he could start a pandemic of weird backlifts.  read more »

I've been in England for a few hours and I already have a job.

The practically give them out at the airport.

Check here for evidence.

True story.

It'll soon be time for one of our regular reviews of the Sky TV cricket coverage, but as a teaser, here's a gem from this evenings viewing...

I'm paraphrasing slightly here, but this is comment from Nick Knight towards the end of the game.

"The big problem the players here tonight have is having to come back tomorrow at 12 o'clock and start a county game. It just shows how much cricket players are having to cram in."

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England captain Michael Vaughan is hoping a week of intensive practice allows him to end a personal runs drought in the crucial third Test against South Africa.

Graeme Smith, the South African captain, risked reopening old wounds yesterday ahead of the crucial third Test by accusing his England counterpart, Michael Vaughan, of hindering his side's cause throu...

Harmison cannot hide his disappointment yesterday after being left out of the England team to take on South Africa in the crucial third Test at Edgbaston today

Generally speaking, I dont mind Saffers. A lot of people think them dubious, and decry the Republic as The Evil Empire. I, on the other hand, tolerate them. This is because I find them, on the whole, tolerable. I have met a great number of them, and have spent a reasonable proportion of my life in that general neck of the woods. I quite like their gritty, boring approach to batting: Jacques Kallis and Neil McKenzie are quietly applauded here. A person left a comment asking me who I liked yesterday. With the one obvious exception, I seem to like the South African team. The Sri Lankans are all, of course, lovely. In the England set up, things are a little bit complicated. There are some players that I want maimed: KP, Jimmy A the usual lot. But who do I like?  read more »

The New Zealand under-19 cricket team have been thrashed by an innings by their England counterparts in a four-day "test" at Taunton, Somerset.The tourists were dismissed in their second inn...

England's dismal performance has prompted them to make two changes for this week's third match at Edgbaston, with Paul Collingwood being recalled to stiffen the batting and left-arm seamer Ryan Sidebo...

Well well - no Steve Harmison for Edgbaston. More of a surprise is that Paul Collingwood, who was dumped for the Headingley Test, has returned at the expense of Stuart Broad. I can’t say I’m over the moon about Collingwood. He’s a brawler, I’ll give him that, but when you’re forced to describe cricketers with words such as “gutsy” and “a real fighter,” when they are so woefully out of nick, you know you’re clutching at a big, fat, pile of straws.

Broad is clearly knackered, and he’ll no doubt be back shortly. So should Collingwood continue to fail, he’ll be out on his ear.  read more »